Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
