i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
