meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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