I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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