I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
