Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There r osticjed everywhere
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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