Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
