I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
