I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
