Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
