Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
