great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
