I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
