he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
