I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
PANTIES FOUND
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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