Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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