paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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