thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
