fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
