Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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