Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
is it fun? or sober?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
