Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
