Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
