Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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