Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
