8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
