She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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