I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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