New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
