I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
