I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
