i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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