Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
operation harelip BJ is a go
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
