Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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