I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
