i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I deserve this hangover.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize