He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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