Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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