Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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