singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
