Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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