When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
