If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
