im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
