Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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