weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
