Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
