i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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