The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
