Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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