I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
