I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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