Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
