If i come over, it means nothing
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
