Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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