OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My hand turned me down
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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