i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
