It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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