Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
