i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
