I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
