Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
