Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
