Having a random hookup so left but love u
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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